For the LGBTQ+ Christian Looking for a Therapist Who Won't Ask You to Choose
If you have ever tried to find a therapist who takes both your faith and your identity seriously, you already know what most people looking do not. Both options ask you to choose. And the choice they ask you to make is a false one. Here's what LGBTQ+ affirming Christian therapy actually looks like, and why it's a clinical question, not just a theological one.
Coercive Control in Christian Marriages: What Death of the Pastor's Wife Is Showing Us
Millions watched Death of the Pastor's Wife when it dropped on Netflix. I watched it as a therapist, as a Christian, and as someone who has sat across from women in my practice whose stories rhymed with pieces of Mica's. Let me name what I saw.
When your healing widens the gap: what to do with the parent who never did their own work
Most attachment writing focuses on childhood injury. Almost nobody names the specific grief of realizing your healing is what widened the gap between you and your parent. Here's the clinical framework for holding what happens when you've done your work and they haven't.
When your aging parent needs care and you're the child they couldn't be there for
The cultural conversation about millennials stepping back from caring for aging parents is missing what's actually happening. When your parent needs care they weren't able to give you, the decision is impossible in every direction. Here's the clinical reality nobody's naming.
Am I estranged if we still talk on holidays?
Estrangement isn't a yes-or-no question. It's a spectrum, and most people trying to figure out where they fit don't have language for the middle of it. Here's the framework I use with clients, and where you might actually be.
How to know if your family is emotionally immature (not just difficult)
Every family is difficult. Not every family is emotionally immature. Here are the three specific markers that distinguish one from the other, and what actually helps if you recognize your family in the pattern.
The Man Who Can't Estrange
Some clients can't estrange. They stay, and their bodies pay the cost. This is the client the estrangement conversation keeps missing, and what actually helps when leaving isn't the answer.
What is Disenfranchised Grief and Why Nobody Sees Mine?
The grief you can't name yet has a name. This is what disenfranchised grief actually is, why it stays trapped under guilt and cultural loyalty, and what healing looks like when you're grieving a parent who is technically still calling.
Secure Estrangement: When “No Contact” Is About Creating Space for Change
When adult children go “no contact,” the conversation often focuses on intent: anger, avoidance, punishment, or rejection. Online discourse tends to frame estrangement as either a boundary taken too far or a refusal to repair.
But that framing misses what many people are actually trying to do.
The Birthday Hangover: When Celebration Brings Clarity
Why Saying No Feels So Hard — and How to Reclaim Your Boundaries
For so many women I work with (especially BIPOC women balancing caregiving, careers, and community) saying no feels impossible. Even when you know you’re overextended, the word gets stuck in your throat.
This isn’t just about scheduling or time. From an attachment perspective, saying yes when you want to say no often comes from early lessons about what it took to stay safe, loved, or chosen.
When the System Shakes: How a Government Shutdown Triggers Attachment Trauma & Mental Health Stress
In the midst of a government shutdown, many people scramble to understand the economic, political, and logistical fallout — what’s less discussed is the emotional toll. As a licensed therapist specializing in attachment trauma, I see how systemic instability mirrors internal instability. That disruption opens the door to anxiety, shame, overworking, and reactivated wounds. If you’re Googling “shutdown mental health effects” or “how economic stress impacts anxiety”, you’re not alone. This post is for you. Below, I break down:
What instability does to our nervous systems
Why financial and institutional stress magnify trauma symptoms
Actionable strategies to regulate in this kind of crisis
Let’s bridge the gap between macro events and inner experience — so your coping isn’t just survival, but rooted in healing.
Let’s Talk Shame, Not Just Trauma
Shame isn’t the same as trauma. Trauma shouts “something bad happened to me.” Shame whispers “I am bad.” Too often, therapy highlights trauma symptoms and misses shame—the silent voice that says you’re unworthy of connection, love, or belonging.
Why Change Trips Up the Nervous System and How Attachment Healing Can Help
Change shouldn’t feel like betrayal, but sometimes it does. For many of us carrying unresolved attachment wounds, even the most welcome life shifts can activate a deep sense of alarm. My work centers on helping you understand that reaction, name it, and gently guide yourself through it.
Jungle Jumps and Glances: How My Son’s Lego Car Moment Became a Lesson in Secure Attachment
Last weekend, my son and I took a much-needed trip to Legoland. Between the laughter, the colorful chaos, and the smell of soft pretzels, something powerful unfolded. It wasn’t just play. It was a masterclass in secure attachment, tucked inside a few seconds at the Jungle Jump slide.
When the Hug Hurts: Attachment Trauma Unveiled in Unknown Number
What happens when the person you’re supposed to trust most turns out to be the source of your deepest pain? In Netflix’s Unknown: The Girl in the Picture, we witness a real-life story that eerily mirrors what many clients bring into the therapy room: attachment wounds so complex they blur the line between love and betrayal. This isn’t just a true-crime documentary—it’s a case study in how trauma shapes the nervous system, our sense of safety, and how we show up in relationships. If you’ve ever wondered how attachment patterns form, this is the blog you’ll want to sit with.
When Childhood Bullying Becomes Attachment Trauma
Bullying Isn’t Just a School Problem, it Can Stay With You
We often point to family dynamics (absent parents, emotional enmeshment, or insecure bonds) as the roots of attachment trauma. But there's another path that’s less talked about and just as damaging: childhood bullying.
“I’m Here, But Am I Seen?” — Attachment and the Politics of Belonging
In one episode of her podcast, Michelle Obama described what it felt like to be the only Black woman in many of the rooms she walked into. She talked about the weight of that experience, not just the responsibility, but the loneliness.
That moment stopped me. Because it echoed what so many of my clients describe, especially those navigating high-achieving spaces while carrying complex identities: “I’m here. But am I seen?”
Can I Even Afford Therapy Right Now?
Let’s just say it: Therapy can feel expensive.
When groceries are up, rent is climbing, and your paycheck feels like it evaporates faster than you can say “self-care”, investing in therapy might feel unrealistic. And if you’re someone who already prides themselves on being resourceful, it can be tempting to try to piece together your healing through free online resources, social media, or even ChatGPT.
The Intersection of Career and Mental Health
Let’s be real: Success doesn’t always feel like success.
On paper, you’re crushing it—degrees, promotions, showing up like the dependable one everyone counts on. But inside? You’re barely holding it together. And even when you check all the boxes, it still doesn’t feel like enough.
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re just exhausted from trying to lead while disconnected from yourself. This isn’t just burnout. It’s deeper than that, and I see it all the time.